AI & Co-Parenting: Crucial Insights for Your Child

“Technology is a useful servant but a dangerous master.” – Christian Lous Lange

Divorce is complicated. But when you throw AI into the mix — devices that learn your child’s voice, dish out advice, and respond like a real person — co-parenting takes on a whole new level of complexity.

Your child isn’t just navigating two households anymore. They’re navigating two different digital realities. And one wrong move could turn a curiosity into a coping mechanism.

The emotional elephant in the room

Here’s what doesn’t get talked about enough: when a child is going through the trauma of divorce, everything feels bigger. A misunderstanding with a teacher. A disagreement with a friend. A bad mark. A skipped birthday.

And when a kid feels like they can’t talk to either parent (because you're exhausted, hurting, or knee-deep in your own survival), they turn somewhere else.

Increasingly, that “somewhere” is AI.

Whether it’s ChatGPT, SnapChat’s My AI, or even Siri, today’s kids are asking life’s hardest questions to a screen. And the answers they get? They might be helpful. But they might also be terrifying, because:

• AI doesn’t know your child;

• it doesn’t understand emotional nuance; and

• it doesn’t care if your child is spiralling… it just keeps talking.

“But I can’t control what happens in their house.”

Exactly. That’s the kicker with co-parenting. You don’t get to control the environment your child steps into when they walk out your door. And sometimes, your co-parent is the “fun house.” The one where rules are loosened, routines are forgotten, and screen time goes off the rails.

It’s easy to villainize that.

But the truth is that most of us going through divorce are running on the fumes of fumes. It’s not about being lazy (or a bad parent), you’re just bloody-well exhausted. [Insert the flashing red lights and a DEFCON 5 alarm sounding]

Danger! Danger! Survival mode initiated!

And even in the middle of that? Your kids still need boundaries. They still need emotional scaffolding.

Especially now.

AI isn’t the problem. The absence of boundaries is.

AI isn’t going away. We can’t make a blanket statement that it’s “bad.” But unsupervised access can be, especially when your child is in an emotionally tender place. And let’s face it, divorce tenderizes even the toughest kids.

So what can you do?

You start with your house.

Lay down the tech rules (but not like a librarian with her bun pulled too tight). You explain them. You let your kids in on the why, so it’s not just, “Because I said so.”

And yes, I can already “hear” the eye-rolls: “They’ll do what I say.”

Let’s pause on that.

Saying “no” without context might feel efficient, but it usually backfires. Take a moment to let your kids know that your boundaries aren’t just knee-jerk reactions… or worse, you being… well, a jerk.

Letting them see that there’s thought behind your “no” helps them trust the boundary, not just obey it.

That’s how trust grows (even when things are messy). That is how we raise kids who can learn to use good judgment when you’re not with them, think for themselves, and respect others while doing it.

Make your tech expectations clear and set age-appropriate limits. Then… here’s the big one… talk openly about why they matter. When you take the time to do that — when you hit pause for a moment, to nurture them — you build trust by explaining your reasons, not just enforcing your adult will.

And then, when the temperature is low, you have the hard conversation with your co-parent.

No yelling. No finger-pointing. No “you always let them…” rants.

Just an invitation: “Can we agree on a shared approach to AI and tech so the kids don’t get mixed messages?”

You might get resistance. You might get eye-rolls. But you might also get a “yeah, that makes sense.”

Even if the other household stays a little more circus than structure, at least your child knows where you stand… and that goes a long way.

What our kids need most isn’t control. It’s clarity.

• They need to know where they’re safe.

• They need to know they can ask the hard questions (and get answers from humans, not bots).

• They need less noise and more connection.

• They need a soft place to land that isn’t filtered through a glowing screen.

No one’s going to do it perfectly, but we can do better… even in small ways.

Technology is moving faster than most of us can keep up with, so what do we do? We rely on emotional smarts and the ability to really see our kids. That’s the parenting skill AI will never have.

Even after divorce.

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